(Smokey) Greetings Race Fans! Smokey here, welcoming you to the third Dragon’s Tail Road Rally. It’s a glorious day up here in the mountains. The summer heat has taken a short and much needed respite, allowing the temperature to drop slightly. I’m down on the main drag where our field of 26 cars will have their chance to prove their worthiness to move forward to the big dance. When we are all done here today, 16 drivers and their machines will have claimed their place in line to get a chance at slaying the Dragon. I’m joined this morning by Aurora who is once again up in the Bell copter and will provide us with a bird’s eye view of the action. James T. Jet, a.k.a Tommy our in the booth commentator seems to be A.W.O.L. as we get started with this broadcast, but we hear that he is expected soon. Aurora, how’s it looking from your perch?
(Aurora) Good Morning Smokey! It’s a pleasure to be back at the Dragon’s Tail after race officials took a year off. It’s a beautiful sight seeing all the entries lined up and poised for take off! It seems to be a great mix of returning contenders and first timers.
(Smokey) We shall see if that previous experience on the course will benefit the veterans. We did have a rookie claim the crown at the last DT Road Rally.
(Tommy) Hello Race Fans! Smokey. Aurora! Tommy checking in and glad to be back in the booth. Sorry to be late, I experienced a little difficulty getting in to the track this morning. Security seems to be more plentiful this year.
(Smokey) That might have something to do with one of our team’s sponsorship.
(Aurora) Welcome back Tommy. It looks like the track marshals are staging the first car.
(Tommy) Indeed they are! This car should look familiar to anyone who has been following the Dragon’s Tail Road Rally. Returning for another go at the Dragon is the “Jagarrari” from the Outlaw Hippie Racing Team. Team owner Sal Matthews has replaced Guido the Britt and this time behind the wheel is Sir Charles Baggett. Relatively new to the team, he doesn’t seem to appreciate the challenge at hand. Is that a tea cup and saucer he’s carrying?
(Smokey) That’s correct. He’s balanced his hot cup of Earl Grey in one hand and clutched a cannoli under his chin so he could pop open the car door. If I’m not mistaken, I believe I saw him take a flask out of his vest pocket and top off his tea. I don’t think race officials saw this.
(Aurora) And He’s off! Ladies and Gentlemen the first car is out of the gate to start the qualifying runs for this year’s Dragon’s Tail Road Rally!
(Tommy) Just to revisit today’s task for those of you not familiar with the proceedings. Each car will get a chance to warm up for about a minute before scoring starts. Then each car will have 2 minutes to clock their fastest lap. In case of two car teams, the car with the fastest lap moves forward to the race. One car teams automatically qualify but will still have to make a qualifying run. How well a car performs will determine where it is placed in the starting lineup.
(Aurora) This retuned “Jagarrari” seems to have much more pep than last time, but Sir Charles seems to be having a rough go of it.
(Smokey) Putting that hot cup of tea on the dash board, probably not a good idea on these twists and turns.
(Tommy) Next up for Outlaw Hippie Racing is “Flower Punch” a yellow VW beetle driven by Lance Ross the III from Colorado. And he’s off!
(Smokey) Yikes, what’s that sound? It seems that the hand brake between the bucket seats is stuck. The car is waved back in by officials. The driver trips a little getting out of the beetle giggling, perhaps embarrassed by his performance. Outlaw Hippie Racing mechanics are attending to the situation. Let’s see if I can get a word with Lance while repairs are made. Lance what seems to be the problem with “Flower Punch”?
(Lance) Man I don’t know… it was this incredible ear piercing noise. At first I just thought it was in my head and I was like, “Get out of my head man!”, but then I saw everyone else putting their fingers in their ears and I realized that I wasn’t alone in my suffering. Hey man, can I get one of those doughnuts with that hot sauce doused all over it? I’m starving… Cool man! Ok, looks like I gotta run. Wish me Luck!
(Smokey) Good luck to you indeed! And he’s off… again!
The chief mechanic informed me that they just severed the hand break cable. Hope he doesn’t need it.
(Tommy) Well, leave it to Outlaw Hippie Racing to get us off to a colorful start. Next up is the newly formed team of reigning DT Champion, Tom Hobgood. Piston Slap Racing is what he is calling this newest effort. Apparently all sorts of new fangled equipment was used in getting these two vehicles ready.
(Smokey) It would be hard to improve on his builds from last time. Tommy, one thing has occurred to me. There seems to be a lot of air cooled vehicles entered into the Dragon’s Tail. This year is no exception and they always seem to perform well. But in previous years the event was held in cooler months. This year for some reason race officials decided to hold it during the hottest season of the year.
(Tommy) Good observation, Smokey. We shall see if the high temps have any effect on the VWs. Correction, not just the VWs, but there is a Corvair in the mix as well.
(Smokey) Speaking of heat… The Ghia with sponsorship from Texas Pete hot sauce is out on the course. Driving for Piston Slap is Clutch McCoy.
(Aurora) He seems to be handling the humps and bumps well, not even working up a sweat.
(Tommy) Next out is Skids Greyson for Piston Slap Racing. He is driving the Krispy Kreme sponsored VW beetle.
(Aurora) The heat doesn’t seem to be a factor for these two.
(Tommy) Next up is Cornhusker Racing. Team owner Mark Boesen has delivered two cars to the track. After that unorthodox performance last time, I’m surprised to see McLovin return to drive. This time he will be the captain of a shiny red Lola. He’s off.
(Aurora) He does know his way around the curves!
(Smokey) Up at the green line is the second car for Cornhusker Racing. A blue metal flake XP-755 concept car also known as a Mako Shark. This car returns after being DQ’d from the previous DTRR for illegal tires.
(Aurora) It’s sleek low body and wide stance helps it chew through the course!
(Tommy) Our first newcomer to make an appearance today is J.L.M. Racing. Team owner Yobear Jones from Washington, DC has entered a beautiful ’66 Mustang G.T. 347 for his beginner’s attempt.
(Smokey) Wow! He really leaped off of the start line. That’s our first 7 cars to run qualifying laps.
Before we take a break to hear a word from our sponsors, let’s take a look at the board.
|1||Team Name – Outlaw Hippie Racing||Owner – Sal Matthews||High Point, NC|
|Sir Charles Baggett||Jagarrari custom||Pink||qual|
|Lance Ross III||1964 VW Beetle||Flower 4||Yellow||qual|
|2||Team Name – Piston Slap Racing||Owner – Tom Hobgood||Stedman , NC|
|Clutch McCoy||1964 Karmann Ghia||11||White/yellow||qual|
|Car #2||Skids Greyson||1965 Volkswagen Beetle||Triple donut||white||qual|
|3||Team Name – Cornhusker Racing||Owner – Mark Boesen||Machesney, IL|
|Car #1||McLovin||Lola||6||Red Lola||qual|
|Car #2||Skabby||Mako||Blue Flake||qual|
|4||Team Name – J.L.M. Racing||Owner – Yobear Jones||Washington, DC|
|Palliden Spencer||1966 Ford Mustang GT 347||Blue w/ white stripe||qual|